A Eulogy for My Mother

June 3, 2007 

Evelyn Mae Luke Robertson Torian was born in 1908 to William Robertson and Eva Luke Robertson.  William was Eva’s second husband.  Eva had ten children by her two husbands and Evelyn was the last.  William was over fifty when Evelyn came along.

Evelyn was a truly beautiful woman, strikingly so.   Even in old age you were struck by her attractiveness.  She was neat and tidy with herself, her personal belongings, her household, and her dress.  This seemed to be accepted by her as just being natural.  This was important for her.  She was concerned about her personal hygiene, about being clean, smelling good, being neatly dressed, and looking good.  She liked to be complimented on her appearance.

She liked to go out, to go places.  Other than her husband and her two sons, her family, this was perhaps her most pleasurable, most liked activity – to go out to dinner, to go to the movies, to go to church, just to go places.

Evelyn was not a complicated person.  She completed high school but did not have the opportunities to pursue education beyond that level.  It was a part of her times, her upbringing, her interests, her keeping of a family, her satisfying a husband, and his demands.  She was interested in her country and her state, and in public figures – their lives.  She wasn’t much interested in non-American things.  She never traveled outside the Untied States.  She spent her mornings after the lost of her husband continuing their tradition of reading through the morning newspaper.  She continued to do this even after having to use a magnifying glass in order to see the letters on the page.  But, eventually, even a magnifying glass would not be good enough.

She considered her greatest contribution, the only one that met anything to her, to be her family, in other words, to be a good and loving and supportive wife, to share in her husband’s accomplishments and their building together of a household, to be a good housekeeper, and to be the Mother of two sons.  She centered her life around her family.   When asked, late in her life, when she was in her nineties, what was the best time of her life, she resolutely answered - after my marriage, being able to leave home and being able to succeed.

She would do anything for her sons – defend them, support them, stand up for them, accept them – unconditionally.   I cannot remember one critical comment that she made, about her sons, or, for that matter,  anything else.

She did not ask for much, did not expect a lot, she was satisfied with the basics.  She took care of what she had – her cloths, her kitchenware, her furniture.   She was a hard worker, never lazy.  Work was a high priority for her, more than socializing, more than conversing.  She was a shy person, not aggressive.  She was a sweet person, a quiet person, likable.  People commented on how sweet, how nice she was.

God, church, prayer, and obedience were important to her.  She had absolute, unquestionable faith.  She was a woman of the highest moral values.

Evelyn had a jealous streak, she was concerned about how good looking her husband was and that women might chase him.  Her husband was not always talkative.  At times she was lonely.  She learned to accept this, to live with it, somehow to adopt to this and to other hardships to make the best of them, and to survive them.  She made herself happy.  She always seemed happy.  She was not moody, she was a very a stable person

I love my Mother, her dedication, her gifts of hard work, of saving every penny not needed for basic well being, for being frugal.  I am sure that this was her and my father’s way of somehow saying:

"Richard, Melvin – we love you more than anything, all we wanted was our family and security and some money in the bank."

I love you Mother.  Good-bye, I already miss you, and I will never forget you.